September 6, 2026
To stay healthy and have a longer life span, there is plenty of good advice: exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress management, spending time in nature, practicing kindness and compassion, music and the arts, being of service and having a sense of purpose. But the overwhelming key to our health in what are called blue zones, where people in that area live significantly longer and healthier, is those areas which have strong social connections. We know from Genesis and the creation accounts that it is not good to be alone, that we are called to community. Mental illness, physical ills, addiction all show the harm of isolating from community.
I am grateful and consistently impressed by the depth and level of community shared here in this community of faith, of support, care, and building up of one another. As we seek to grow closer to God, to relationship as God calls us, what is it that we owe to God, to ourselves and to one another?
The readings for today call for accountability in relationships, to clear, sober accountability to ourselves in light and truth and to discipline ourselves and one another.
We can clearly witness the evidence of a lack of accountability: a woman wielding a knife in Times Square, an airline passenger disrupting flights or thieves taking property.
I was reminded in military chaplaincy training a week ago that discipline is from the same root word as disciple. That we have the disciplines in academic study, in physical exercise, and in our spiritual lives. And in the military or any law enforcement, for good reason, good order and discipline are essential so that power is used for the common good in good ethical order. In the military, the smallest infractions, a system of paperwork and consequential actions ensures a constant culture of mutual accountability.
And sometimes the best discipline we can give or receive is timely, brief and direct: “you are late”, “you missed the meeting”, “please sit down” shows that you are important, seen and needed.
Of course, we can miscommunicate and power can be used for manipulation and control. To have accountability and discipline, it is abundantly clear that being called out only works when love, respect, and care are the underlying focus of the discipline.
Like being a guest in a restaurant, and the food that comes out is not what you ordered and is cold or inedible, we call for some accountability and send it back. And you can grow testy or angry at the server, and their patience may get tried as well. I’ve also seen cases of a server and a guest really wanting the meal to go well and rising to the occasion to do better, to add the smallest of a condiment, cook to the right temperature or offer an additional dish.
What do we owe one another? In Paul’s letter to the Romans, the answer is to owe nothing except love, and that love fulfills the rules, law, ethics, and needs. So when we confront a wrong, when we are hurt, we must do so with the deep love, respect, and care of God’s own presence like a shepherd caring for a lost sheep.
In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus says that when someone harms you, point it out to them. If they do not listen, try again, but with backup. If they still don’t listen, bring in the whole church. The final resulting action is to treat them like a tax collector or Gentile. We might recall that Matthew himself was a tax collector who was convicted by Jesus’ love and grace, or Zaccheus the tax collector whom Jesus goes to his house, or the Samaritan woman whom Jesus treats with extreme healing, forgiveness, and concern.
In the first lesson, God calls the sixth-century prophet Ezekiel to speak truth to power about the corruption in his nation. Conflict can be stressful so much that we don’t want to address it or even enter a relationship or ignore the situation. Yes, there is a time to talk, and a time to air our grievances. Sometimes the other person is “the problem”. Tension is only good when we can be open about it, address it, learn from it, and grow stronger together.
Why Talking Is Not Enough is a book about conflict management in marriage relationships but applies to other relationships as well. The traditional model for such conflicts is to have “the talk.” Which means: you have a problem and I have the answer.
The book’s author, Susan Page, turns it around and says that when someone gets to us it is really my problem. The hard work is about my issues. That in the conflict I need inner work, reflection, talking through the problem. She offers eight loving actions in a conflict relationship: adopt a spirit of goodwill, give up problem solving, act with love, practice restraint, balance giving and taking, act on your own, practice acceptance, and practice compassion.
Often in conflict, we don’t see the role we play. We are best at being the victim. We first think that we are right and the other is wrong. And when we always see others as the problem, we begin to see ourselves as the center of the world and others as objects whose needs are not as important as our own.
The “binding and loosing” in today’s gospel has led some to a power trip of controlling others by saying who is moral or not, who is saved or not, and what is truth or not. Yet for Martin Luther, “binding and loosing” has to do with the church’s role in announcing the forgiveness of sins. We all need God’s mercy. We all are self-centered. We all think the problem is someone else rather than looking closely at ourselves. Being in community is the things that teach us about ourselves, about being human, and about our common need for reconciliation.
Worship scholar Aidan Kavanaugh writes that the church is one place where you are close enough to get on each other’s nerves and then need their forgiveness.
In Thank You for Being Such a Pain, Dr. Mark Rosen writes: “In the school of life, difficult people are the faculty. They teach us our most important spiritual lessons, the lessons we would be most unlikely to learn on our own.”
We might wonder how to know God, how to have meaning, and the texts today make it clear: Jesus is present when two or more are present in relationships. And that God is love and we are called to love. The Apostle Paul calls for an ecology of genuine love, hospitality to strangers, and mutual affection. We are bound in community: in family, in our city, church, nation, and as a part of planet earth.
Sometimes Mother Nature or planet Earth has some conflict resolution to teach us as well. We have all kinds of problems. Yet, we are in this together.
Journalist David Wallace-Wells reports that the United States’ war with Iran immediately boosted green energy production. Higher gas prices caused by the war were replaced with renewable energy. “In percentage terms,” he writes, “wind power grew, from March 2025 to March 2026, more than twice as much as coal power fell. Solar power? More than four times as much.” Ember, an energy think tank, found that in 2025, renewable energy exceeded the rise in electricity demand. Fossil fuel generation fell. In the words of the Apostle Paul: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
As we claim our part in a conflict, as we learn to listen, as we realize that we’re all carrying burdens and trying to do the best we can, we sense the presence of God. Jesus is there. Trusting in the faith, forgiveness, and mercy of God, we begin to see our problems in a different light as opportunities, gifts, new direction, and hope.